I love you too much

There's just nothing else for it… I think I love you too much. Putting myself through hell because I'm so desperate for you to see me…

but you already do, don't you?

I see you, and my heart melts. I hear your voice, and it fills my lungs. I love you, I love you, I do.

You've been putting yourself out there a lot lately, with this new initiative of yours. You invited me to come along for the ride, an offer I gleefully accepted. Oh, my love… I didn't realize how much it was going to be… did you? I've suddenly got so much of you in my life. From that first post of you being absolutely stunning to your most recent reel, which is just so heartbreakingly adorable.

I'm not going to lie, I couldn't stop watching it. The way you start lip-syncing a beat too soon… how your lips start curling up into a grin… to that mischievous smile I know so well… and finally that laugh… oh. Oh my heart.

I sat there, unable to take my eyes away, breath stolen from my lungs… how are you so damned cute? Until I started feeling…

You invited me along, that's true. But did you really want this?

There's a reason that song was on my mind. I don't know what possessed me to record it and post it, why I so desperately needed for you to see it… my declaration. That I've figured out what I am. But I did.

And somehow now its wormed its way into my head, retroactively coloring our far-too-few encounters. Making me question myself, question everything. Never mind that I have a brand-spanking new invitation from you to spend time in your presence at an event that you went out of your way to ask me when I'd be available for.

That worm, that rot… it's of my own creation. Doesn't make it any easier to eradicate.

Oh love, what am I going to do?

Yours, until the stars fall from the sky.